Anxiety is not always the shaking hands and racing heart version. Often it is quieter than that. A running list of what could go wrong. Rehearsing a conversation twelve times before you have it. Checking the door twice, then a third time, because the second one did not count.
Whatever shape it takes, anxiety is a nervous system doing its job a little too well. It learned somewhere that staying alert keeps you safe, and nobody has told it the danger passed.
How It Tends to Show Up
Anxiety looks different from the inside than it does from the outside. Some of the most anxious women we meet appear entirely composed.
- Worry That Will Not Set Down
A mind that keeps working on a problem long after there is anything useful left to do about it. - Physical Tension
A tight jaw, shallow breathing, shoulders somewhere near your ears, a stomach that reacts before you consciously do. - Trouble Sleeping
Falling asleep fine and waking at three, or lying there while the day replays itself. - Avoidance
Putting off the call, the appointment, or the conversation until the delay costs more than the thing would have. - Second-Guessing Yourself
Reading and rereading a message you already sent, looking for the part you got wrong.
Where Shame Fits In
For a lot of women, anxiety and shame travel together. The worry becomes one more thing to feel bad about, and the effort to hide it costs energy the anxiety was already spending.
Shame resilience is a plain way of describing the work of noticing shame when it arrives, naming where it came from, and loosening its grip. We do a fair amount of that here, because getting quieter on the inside is difficult while part of you is busy being embarrassed about the noise.
How We Work With It
We start with the body. Somatic and mindfulness-based practices give you something concrete to do when your system is running hot, and they work faster than insight does in the moment.
From there we look underneath. What the worry is protecting, where the vigilance was learned, and which of the beliefs driving it were ever actually yours. Parts work is often useful here, because the anxious part of you is usually trying to help, and arguing with it rarely goes well.
Sessions happen by video from wherever you are in Colorado, so you can do this work from a room you already find safe.
This practice is not a crisis service. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. If you need someone to talk to right now, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or contact Colorado Crisis Services at (844) 493-8255 or by texting TALK to 38255. Both are available at any hour.