Once there is enough steadiness underneath you, and the old stories are easier to see, we can approach the specific experiences that shaped how you protect yourself.
This is not about digging up the past for its own sake or retelling it until it stops hurting. It is about giving experiences that never got finished the attention they need.
Parts Work
Internal Family Systems, often called IFS or parts work, treats a painful memory as a message from a part of you that is still living in that moment and still guarding against a threat that may be long gone.
Instead of fighting the inner critic, the people pleaser, or the part that shuts down, we get curious about what each one is protecting. Meeting those parts with curiosity instead of contempt is a big part of this phase.
Other Tools in This Phase
- Trauma-Focused CBT
Working on the beliefs about yourself, other people, and the world that formed around what happened. - Somatic Work
Attention to what the body is still holding, because some experience is not reachable through talking alone. - DBT Skills
Ways to ride out intense emotion and stay steady when the work stirs things up.
Pacing
You can slow down or pause at any point. Processing often continues between sessions, through dreams, stray memories, or a rough day. I build support for that into the work, and we talk about it openly.